I am Autism

By Lydia Glider-Shelley aka Lady Liberty

I am Autism
enigmatic, paradoxical, hyper-focused
beautiful, wistful, unpredictable

I am raw emotion
happiness... joy
sadness... terror
and inexpressible emotions which have no names
yet I am also often completely devoid of emotion

When you see me you apply your rules
but that logic does not fit
you cannot walk in my shoes
or know what it feels like to reside within my skin

I am wandering inside my head
familiar, safe, content
until I am disturbed
and forced to deal with the overstimulation of your world

I am socially awkward
although I may be brilliant or quite clever
and I discover things
socially adept people
will never notice

Like the flickering of fluorescent lights
or the subliminal hum of electronics
the beauty of patterns all around us
and the apparent insensitivity of others

I am a child, an adult, a human being
my life is different but no less worthy
from the outside looking in, you see only the shell
but if you could join me in my inner world
maybe you would encounter the real me